Victoria’s real secret…

I have a bee in my bonnet.

I love marketing. I love choosing images, figuring out text and how to make something compelling and entertaining at the same time. I love the creativity behind it, the tracking and ‘keeping score’ after the fact…

what I don’t like, or perhaps just don’t understand, are things like this:

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Who is being sold to here? Do you want to buy either of these articles of clothing? They don’t fit, are falling off and the top seems to be missing a few button holes.

All I want to buy is a cheeseburger so I can mail it to the poor thing. It makes me feel sad, cold and very hungry. I’m lost on this marketing message?

I think marketing should appeal to the audience doing the buying – the largest audience – which in the case of these pyjamas would be women right? All women, of all sizes and shapes? So make your marketing fit the broadest audience – help your customers see themselves wearing it.

My suggestion:

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The only time I feel like this is when I wake up in the morning and I’m starving. Mascara running, tummy growling with nothing on my mind but my next mouthful. THAT I can relate to – although I still feel cold – but at least now I could potentially see myself in those pyjamas.

Let’s figure out who we’re selling to here; I understand the fantasy aspect of these photos, but really, how many men know their girlfriend’s/wife’s sizes? Even if they did know, these aren’t uber-sexy – so how many actually make the purchase? I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest a rare few. What is more likely is that women are buying pyjamas for themselves, hopefully women over the age of 20, with a job so they can afford to buy them and only those that don’t sleep naked. We’re still left with a pretty broad audience right? So what appeals to these ladies? What would make them purchase these items?

When is the last time you were sprawled out on the couch like this?

Top open with the blanket underneath you?

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Let’s make this relatable – if I were laying around like this, it would be because I needed to loosen my top to account for an application of Vicks Vapour Rub or perhaps for an over-indulgence of food. Perhaps I didn’t want to get crumbs on my pyjamas, so I used my stomach as a bib? This sugar-coma looks more realistic don’t you think?

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What about this – just lying on the chaise, eating the curtains in your underwear?
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I don’t want to buy this outfit. I never do this – do you? How good can curtains really taste?

This is a bit more likely:

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Yes, you’re in your underwear because even your ‘stretchy pants’ couldn’t handle your PMS chocolate binge – the curtains are merely the nearest napkin. Now you’re selling me!

I don’t usually lay around in my underwear with a beanie on – because frankly, if my head is cold the rest of me probably is too.

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What I would purchase this ‘almost-outfit’ for is keeping my long flowing locks out of my face while I do a mask.

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I will admit, I actually do have a pair of these pyjamas. They looked so comfy on the mannequin – but I rarely lay around upside down in them…

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Oh, check that – I guess I do:

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Another shot of button down pyjamas with no buttons being used. Why would people buy button down pjs if they didn’t want them buttoned? Why not sell buttonless pjs and save the company millions?

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So when would I wear these? As a pyjama blazer for a bedtime cocktail party? No, I’ve got it – these are pre-menopausal/menopausal pyjamas – the buttoning is optional depending on what stage of the hot flash you’re in – in which case, I’d show the model with a bottle of estrogen pills in her hand to make more sense. Either that, or model her about two planets closer to the sun – in which case pjs might actually be a fire hazard.

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This next one is fantastic – even if I were trying to fulfill all of Hubby’s fantasies, I’m still not sure where the crow wings and Eiffel Tower hat come into play? That hat looks far too sharp for any use (even 50 Shades kinky, I doubt anyone would even be brave enough to try and use it on themselves on somewhere like Tube V sex), and trying to balance it would be counteractive to the act the lingerie is suggesting.

I have an honest question here – how do you get the underwear off with the garter straps on?

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Here we go ladies – let’s make this more realistic – when I MIGHT wear this outfit would be during a long night of binge drinking. This photo is more relatable to the true wearability of this get-up:

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That’s my “Holy Shit – how did I get into this get-up?!” face.

Now it’s worth buying – hat and all – because you need to have a suitable outfit for one of those moments and frankly, if you’ve imbibed THAT much, it’s probably a good idea to have a labyrinth of straps to protect your virtue.

I’m not a total prude – honestly. I understand that everyone wants to look and feel sexy. Some women like to go the extra mile and come up with unique ways to feel as sexy as one of the most gorgeous escorts kiev can provide. But even those girls understand it is all a fantasy. Instead, I’m suggesting that “sexy” be determined by, and suitable to, the audience (women, over 20, with a job, that don’t sleep naked).

These “sell me”:

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These are cute, so you’d feel sexy – but the real fantasy here is sitting with the sun shining in, cuddled in a corner of a couch with enough quiet to read a book!


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What about warm pjs, morning sun and a hot tea, or sleeping in a bed with no kids, cats, dogs or snoring Hubby next to you.

I’m getting all tingly just thinking about it!

PicMonkey Collage 1 PicMonkey Collage 2 PicMonkey Collage 3

Don’t even get me started on the lace underwire bras – you have to have nipples of steel to be able to stand that rubbing against you all day!

Perhaps I need to get out of marketing – I just don’t seem to get it?

Very special thank you’s to Amazing Amy at Open to Design for her very flattering work. (Check out her custom stationery!)

Have a great one!

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2016-01-08T12:19:05-05:00February 24th, 2015|Uncategorised|8 Comments

8 Comments

  1. Margaret February 24, 2015 at 7:29 am - Reply

    Thanks for the morning Giggle Shelly ~ I can SO relate to this article and the ‘who thinks up these marketing campaigns’ question … love your humorous rebuttal to some of the Victoria Secret ads!

    • Shelly @ 100Things2Do.ca February 25, 2015 at 8:44 am - Reply

      Thanks Margaret – I wanted to “re-enact” one of those scenes with the women in their underwear hanging out together like it was nothing – but I couldn’t get another victim to let me superimpose their face! lol As though we ever sit around in our underwear together? Seriously!

  2. Jennifer Slay February 24, 2015 at 8:18 am - Reply

    LOVE IT!!! I was laughing the whole way through. I have to say, the mud mask pics were my favorite and probably most relatable. Loved it! Thank you for the good morning smiles. xoxo

    • Shelly @ 100Things2Do.ca February 25, 2015 at 8:45 am - Reply

      Open to Design did a great job super-imposing those models faces on my body didn’t she? lol I like the mud mask one too – who wears a hat with their underwear?

  3. Tonya February 24, 2015 at 10:22 am - Reply

    That was hilarious.

    • Shelly @ 100Things2Do.ca February 25, 2015 at 8:46 am - Reply

      Thanks so much Tonya – I have to admit, I did a fair bit of laughing when I saw the images myself!
      I have a pretty hot bod don’t I? lol Thanks for commenting!

  4. Lisa February 25, 2015 at 9:48 am - Reply

    Wow! That was a great morning laugh! you looked great in all the PJ’s!

  5. Michelle February 25, 2015 at 10:46 pm - Reply

    LOL, I was so looking forward to this post!

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